“Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it.” (TNIV)

This statement from Jesus is a slap in the face to the modern assumption of self discovery. This should cause us to stop in our tracks as we race through life to find happiness, liberty and comfort and quell in the realization that the direction of the Kingdom of God (or the Kingdom of Heaven, as Matthew puts it) has a much different direction of motivation and journey then what we normally fill our lives with.

I wish that this statement had a stopping point, also. However, the more I mull it over the deeper and profound it gets. Sure, some will write it off as hyperbole and a good thing to say and think about from time to time. But, is that all this is… or might this be one of those backbone statements that are to be focused and meditated upon as a means of utter destruction of the self in order to leave one open and vulnerable so God can reconstruct, resurrect, if you will, a broken life for one that looks like his son?

What does it mean to lose yourself for the sake of Jesus? How do you know you actually have done it when it happens? How is the lost life actualized in our present life?

It is like a control in an experiment with two identical mice. One mouse is subjected to as experimental serum and the other is left alone. Both are given the same food, and follow the same basic routine of the day. The real test of the experiment is to observe and document the effects of the serum on the mouse, however, in order to do this well, the scientist needs to have another mouse present that was not injected with the serum to compare and contrast the findings. The mouse that is not injected in known as the control and it serves as the basis of comparison for the experiment.

The above verse acts as our control in life to compare ourselves. We all know that comparing to our neighbors is a lose-lose, however, we should be comparing our lives to that of Christ. What is the control mouse doing in this situation, and what I am doing? How might I better follow the pattern?

Grace abounds, I am not saying it does not. It is for grace that we all have life. However, we do, all of us, need to take responsibility for the direction and everyday, breath to breath moments of our lives, to look upon the control, the standard of Christ and be in awe of the example. This is the means in which God can have his way in our lives and mold us, this is the means in which we truly find out who we really are.

Every good reader knows that, as one of my female professors would say, “Context is queen.” Stand alone little bits of text, or a merely quoted verse many times does not completely flesh out what is being portrayed, especially at a deep and transformative level, within a given text. It is good when the Roman soldier looks at the cross and says, “Truly, this man was the son of God,” (Mk 15:39, ESV). However, when stacked up with the entire narrative of Mark, the reader is left with a choice to admit to the same conclusion proposed by the narrative from the very first chapter and verse, “…the gospel of Jesus Christ, the Son of God,” (Mk 1:1). All of the stuff that happens between these two bookends are merely fodder for the real aim of the narrative, “Who, reader, do you say this man is?”

All that to say that context is very, very important to understand. One must be familiar with the breath of the narrative in order to deal with the pieces, formerly entitled a pericope A pericope is a greek term used to describe an extract of a text. Our bibles are riddled with them, they are broken up by the helpful headings, such as “Jesus Feeds the Five Thousands,” or something like that. Of course the original authors did not put the headings there but that is a different topic all together.

One way to boil down a text and see what is going on within it is to look at the actual pericopes themselves and stack them up with what is going on before and after them. In a way, if the pericope is a building block of the narrative, then how are the building blocks being stacked. And, if we can ascertain a certain building formula, does that as a reader show us something.

Mark 11, and the pericope before it (Mk 10:46-52) gives a great example of what I am talking about.

Here is a list of the pericopes labeled out by my trusty Synopsis of the Four Gospels.

Mark 10:46-52, Jesus Heals the Blind Man (Bartimaeus)
Mark 11:1-10, The Triumphal Entry
Mark 11:11,  Jesus in Jerusalem
Mark 11:12-14, The Cursing of the Fig Tree
Mark 11:15-17, The Cleansing of the Temple
Mark 11:18-19, The Chief Priests and Scribes Conspire against Jesus
Mark 11:20-26, The Fig Tree Withered
Mark 11:27-33, The Question about Authority

I will try to explain what is happening here. First, the blind stands at a turning point in the narrative of Mark. Here Jesus is on his way to Jerusalem to face his destiny and he meets a man who longs to see. The question to the reader is that up to this point you have journeyed with Jesus along the road from chapter 1-10, Do you truly see him for who he is? And, Jesus heals him, portraying that if we all long to see Jesus he is willing to heal our blindness and open out hearts to the truth before us. Then Jesus moves into Jerusalem. Here all of a sudden there is fanfare and excitement as if a conquering power has come to overthrow the oppressive regime and replace it with hope and prosperity. I see pictures from WWII with the allied forces releasing areas that where under axis control and the way the people responded upon their release from occupation.

Jesus then quickly walks around the town and gets a feel for what is going on. He returns the next day, yet on the way he is hungry, so he finds a fig tree that gives no fruit and he curses it. Huge amount of symbolism happening here. Israel is commonly referred to as a fig tree. Then, Jesus meek and mild brandishes a cord and puts the smack down at the temple. The fig tree receives its just judgement as the temple gets its own righteous justice. The established religious establishment sees what is going on, and distraught they solidify their disdain for Jesus and conspire to kill him. Jesus walks out and the tree is withered. The fig tree was bearing no fruit like the temple was not upholding being the central aspect of spiritual life, there was no real sustenance to either of their existences. Both were worthless. And, it is proven more because the religious establishment had so lost their way and become corrupt just shown that they were like a withered dead tree, with no life nor means to given life as it should be.

And, now the question of authority arises within the text. And, a hand rises out of the page and points a long finger at the reader, “Do you see who he is, do you see by what authority he does these things, Who do you say he is?”

I know that in many ways I am only scratching the surface on a whole range of topics here, but I am blown away with gift that the sacred scriptures are and I love this section of scripture that shows so clearly that the inspired writers where masters at storytelling. Their truth is plain…do you see it?

Today I pray that I will be mindful and ask God for his heart for the injustice that surrounds me, and ask an easy question, however, one that is immensely difficult to hear the answer: “What is my role, what must I do?”

Here is the link for the famous speech by MLK.

Herod was the political ruler of the land, excluding of course the imperial power of Rome. Herod was rich and extremely powerful in his time. Yet, the story presents Herod as one who throws his power and wealth around with haste and foolishness. He becomes pleased at a young girl dancing before him and promises half of his kingdom, hyperbole for sure, but still this is ridiculous. One thing that I gather from the reading is that the powers that be in the first century world are becoming challenged by these dusty and preachy individuals who are coming out of the wood work, the less desirable areas of the region, who speak about repentance and getting one’s life right with God. Things have gone ill for John the Baptist, who spoke this truth to power, telling that it was unlawful for Herod to take this brother’s wife (which it was!).

As Jesus goes throughout the land and speaks his truth to the political and reigning powerful of the land, I wonder if things will go similarly as they did for John? Might this be the reason that Mark spins the tale of John the Baptist in this way?  Might politics have something to do with it?

If you have read Ched Myers then I think you know what I am getting at here, but how can this not be a valid reading of this text?

Mark 1

I can’t help but read this chapter and think two things: 1) man, did Mark have a lot to say, I wonder why he did it so fast. And, 2) this is my favorite depiction of the baptism of Jesus. I think because of the brevity, but also cause the lack of preloaded detail on who Jesus was. What I mean is that, Mark starts with the mission and message of John and foretells of the “one” who will come after. Then, Jesus gets in the water and God declares him his son. What gets me, and I dare say this as to sounds heretical, is it boarders on adoptionism. Now in the context of the Gospel of Mark in no way can it be understood to be so, but given just in the first chapter there is an almost nuance that it was Jesus’ baptism, the pouring out of the Holy Spirit upon Jesus that propels Jesus from the mundane to the extramundane. Now, of course this is not so with regard to the person and character of Jesus, however, I find this nuance warming in a personal sense. Because it brings revelation and newness to the activity and agency of the Holy Spirit in my own life. As well as, a firmer understanding of my own identity. Though Jesus was not merely adopted into the family of God, his rightful place is with the Father, my only hope is that God has decided to adopt me as his own. That similar words of love and affection, “You are my beloved son, with you I am well pleased,” (Mk 1:11, ESV), are spoken over me, over all of us, who cling to God as their heavenly Father.

For me that word is: steadfast.

Though being steadfast might be a little more work then discipline, to live a steadfast life speaks more of hope, and grace then a metallic rigidity of discipline. I long to be steadfast in my walk with Christ, with my relationships, money, consumption and time. In many ways steadfast speaks more to the awareness of life and its surroundings and making wise decisions then simply following a plan based on mere discipline.

Steadfast is the word for me, and I hope to me it is a constant theme in my prayer life during this next year. With that said I am going to start a new journey, yet again with another blog, called Primal Matt. If you know me well then you know that there are two things I do not do well: 1) eat responsibly, and 2) blog regularly. I hope to be steadfast in both of these arenas as a means of personal and spiritual growth.

Steadfast in my word for 2011.

What is your word?

To help me, I am starting to think that I need to bring about a more focused effort in my life to partake of the ancient Christian fun of spiritual disciplines. To start my (re)alignment, I have chosen the simple act of mediation and silence of a discipline known as centering prayer. I really do not know a whole lot about it, but that one simply sits in silence. Bam. That’s it. A little prayer and invocation to open up the time, but then it is a holy and set apart time where nothing else matters but to breath and be with God.

My meditative invocation I have chosen to start things off is an excerpt from the famous prayer Breastplate of Saint Patrick. What I desire most is to (re)align my narrative that runs through my head of my everyday, with the reality that Christ is the foundation that supports the boundaries of daily fabric of life and the constant thread that holds it all together. That is the narrative that want to life with.

10 minutes of silence a day, meditated on the surrounding presence of Christ. I like it.

Breastplate of Saint Patrick

Christ with me, Christ before me, Christ behind me,

Christ in me, Christ beneath me, Christ above me,

Christ on my right, Christ on my left,

Christ when I lie down, Christ when I sit down, Christ when I arise,

Christ in the heart of every man who thinks of me,

Christ in the mouth of everyone who speaks of me,

Christ in every eye that sees me,

Christ in every ear that hears me.

I arise today

Through a mighty strength, the invocation of the Trinity,

Through belief in the threeness,

Through confession of the oneness,

Of the Creator of Creation.

Of the many wonderful and insightful quotes from the book I would like to share one:

“The church is the single, multiethnic family promised by the creator God to Abraham. It was brought into being through Israel’s Messiah, Jesus; it was energized by God’s Spirit; and it was called to bring the transformative news of God’s recusing justice to the whole of creation,” (p. 200).

I have read a lot of definitions of what the church is and what is supposed to be. I do not think that I have come across one so poignant and rich in theology and missions as the above. To unpack this quote would take a volume of writings as one would have to argue on the basis of Israel’s salvific history throughout the Hebrew Bible, the life and mission of Jesus and a motivational grace and force of the Holy Spirit grounded in the work of the people of God. Thus, in Wright’s mind the formulation of the church is trinitarian in foundation (which wonderfully finds agreement with Moltmann’s concept of a social trinitarian formulation). Furthermore, the church is on the move, it is on a mission to proclaim the “rescuing justice” of God.

This is good stuff, that should give us all pause as we ask the question: “What is the Church?”

Lately, I have been confronted in my own walk that Moses, as the bible describes “during that long period” (Ex. 2:23), was a father and a shepherd. He named his first born son Gershom, meaning, “I have become a foreigner in a foreign land.” There is a profound element of acceptance in these words and the name he gives his son, which is a statement of his own legacy. For Moses accepted his life in Midian. This is what it was, what it is, and what it will be. And, on many levels, from Moses’ perspective that was enough. He was a shepherd, a husband, and a father. And, though he previously felt the sting and struggle of his people in Egypt; their plight was ultimately not his fight (or, maybe rightly said his time had not arrived).

And, I guess this opens up a much bigger question for me. What does it mean to wait on God? What was in Moses’ mind as he sat through the years “tending flocks of Jethro” watching the sun set over the land, with the dust and mud clinging to his feet? Did his mind wonder to the oppressed and enslaved in Egypt, did his lips offer up a prayer, or were there shouts of rage and angst assailed agains a voiceless God in the wee hours of the night demanding reason and action? Was there simple acceptance that things are as they should be? Maybe it was a constant ebb and flow of a myriad of emotions. But, one thing is clear, Moses would have died tending those flocks if God had not appeared to him in the bush as dancing flames. Moses would have remained in exile, a foreigner in a foreign land, had not God moved with compassion and remembered the covenant with Abraham. Ultimately, the timing is God’s.

In many ways, I feel much like Moses tending the flocks. It has taken me a long time to accept this role, to accept that I am a foreigner in a foreign land. This past year personally has been a rush of angst, anxiety, joy, and impatience. Many sleepless nights with shouts of anger to a voiceless God demanding reasons for his absence. To wait on God is the hardest lesson I have ever attempted to learn. It goes against very fiber of my being, especially given my cultural and environmental surroundings which are inebriated with consumerism and instant gratification. And, my heart breaks and I long to serve a broken and enslaved Church, racked with oppression from doctrines and ideals that trade the freedom and love of the Gospel of Jesus Christ for the masses for control and comfort for a few.

But, there I wait. Ultimately, the timing is God’s.

A lot has been said about this verse. The play between two kingdoms, and the tension of being a traveler caught with one foot in each upon this earth. As a follower of Jesus, is our place to play the game spun by the prevailing powers and principalities of our current socio-economic surroundings, or do we play to a different tune? How one answers that question constitutes the foundation in which to base paradigm.

Currently, we are facing an increase of polarity within this country, the conservatives (politically speaking) and liberals are moving farther and farther apart. The fabric that is holding the American landscape together is straining, revealing ugly truths of our society. Like when an old family skeleton rears its head from the closet and the members can no longer sweep it under the rug, and are forced to face the dark and troubling consequences of past generation decisions.

What I am getting at is this: The system, all systems are broken, and there is not hope to be found in any of them. America is not the only source of good in this world; Capitalism isn’t for that matter, either. It is not in our principals or our leanings to the left in a new found zeal for political “blue” ideology”, so hope is not to be found in socialism neither. It is not to the right or the left.

As followers of Jesus, we must move past this crippling polarity. Step beyond the systemic machine that grinds continually on. But, we don’t. We stay plugged into it. We get wrapped up into it, we become one with it. In fact, we become at times the biggest power source for fueling the machine with our consumerism, materialism, and our political fervor for morality in society. All of which, have been construction and design to keep us all continually plugged in, to feed at the trough of apathy and conformity. We have become like the other and demanded a voice, a vote, a say, and to be served. Yet, we forget that our example came not to be served, but to serve. We need to unplug.

I am becoming more and more convinced as I like about this that this is one of the key elements in our biblical narrative. This is a theme I will be revisiting again and again. The message of Jesus was to unplug from the prevailing systems around you, to move against the flow of convention, and to conform to the pattern of sacrifice and service in the name of love.

I have not idea what that looks like outside of the Cross…